About the Author
January 12, 2009
Susan Pease Gadoua is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 20 years of experience as a therapist. She has specialized in divorce-related issues for close to a decade and has counseled hundreds of people who were at some stage of the divorce continuum (pre, mid or post). While her private practice is based in Northern California, she has coached and counseled people from all over the U.S. and Canada.
In addition to being a licensed therapist, Susan is a Collaborative Divorce Coach and a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. She is also a Certified Drug and Alcohol Abuse Counselor, and was trained as a Life Coach.
Mediation Background
Susan, together with her husband, Michael, are Certified Mediators and compose North Bay Mediation Center. Michael’s law degree complements Susan’s therapeutic background equipping them to assist in the resolution of a variety of issues. These include divorce, family and/or relationship disputes and co-parenting.
Publications and Public Appearances
Susan has been sought out as an expert on divorce. She has been featured in or written articles for USA Today, Associated Press, Divorce Magazine, TheModernWomansDivorceGuide.com, Divorce360.com and she has appeared on a variety of radio talk shows. Her prior publications include a board game for teenagers called, On the Road to Discovery (Specialty Press, 1997), and co-author of Responsible Divorce, an eBook put out by proactivechange.com.
Click the button to place an order for Susan’s book.
What Kind of Divorce Help Can You Expect from the Book?
August 4, 2008
By reading Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, you will:
1. See that what you are experiencing is quite common
2. Feel less alone
3. Know what options exist for you at this crossroads
4. Understand how to manage your emotions
5. Have a greater understanding of your relationship
6. Learn helpful tools to work on your marriage
7. Understand your needs as well as the needs of others
8. Gain clarity and find your truth
9. Know if, how and when to take action
10. Make peace with your decision
Through a series of written exercises as well as reading the stories of others, you will come away with a much greater understanding of what decision you need to make with your marriage.
Quotations from the Book
August 2, 2008
To provide you with a sense of the scope and nature of the divorce advice and divorce support offered by Susan Pease Gadoua’s book, Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, you’re invited to look over the excerpts that follow:
The Crossroads
Standing on the precipice of such a big decision can be daunting. Feelings of sadness, guilt, fear and anger are normal now, especially if your spouse is unaware of the extent of your unhappiness or you feel unsupported. You are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of people feeling stuck in matrimonial confusion. No matter how difficult the circumstances you face, there is a solution.
Whatever your reason for coming to this place or how long you’ve been unhappy and unfulfilled, you are reading this book because you need some guidance in your decision-making process.
The primary goal of this book is to help you sort out your emotions and assist you through the maze of confusion and grief you will undoubtedly experience. By the end of the last chapter, I hope that, with the roadmap provided here, you will have a clearer sense of what direction to take regarding your marriage.
Learning About Your Relationship
I have found that once a couple understands the mechanics behind their relationship - specifically, why they were attracted to each other in the beginning and why they now have marital problems - they can often do more to improve their situation. You can’t change what you’re not conscious of, so a big part of working on yourself and your relationship is “looking under the hood” to see the inner workings of how this machine you call your “marriage” operates.
There are three basic reasons why we are attracted to and stay with a partner: 1) to find comfort, 2) to find balance, 3) to heal old wounds.
Knowing what You Need
Like it or not, you have needs. We all do. We would hardly be human if we didn’t. In my work, I am often surprised by how many people, men and women alike, either try to deny their needs or don’t know that they have them. These unmet needs are the leading underlying factors behind most disputes and disappointments couples have. The more disputes and disappointments you have, the more tumultuous your relationship, therefore, the more likely you are to divorce.
When people have unmet needs in their marriage, they either go without and suffer or they get their needs met somewhere else. Gaining clarity on your personal and marital needs will have a huge impact on the direction you take in your marriage. In order to get your needs met you must:
1) Acknowledge that you have needs, 2) Clearly identify your needs and, 3) Know how and where to get your needs met.
Introduction to Contemplating Divorce
July 31, 2008
Both this website, www.contemplatingdivorce.com, as well the book, Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, are devoted to addressing the complex issues that arise when you think you may have to end your marriage.
Susan’s Book
The idea for the book was borne as a result of witnessing hundreds of people experience tremendous turmoil in considering whether or not their marriage was salvageable. Through her work in the marital dissolution arena, Susan was able to identify certain patterns and similarities that most divorcing people experienced. An example of this is what Susan calls the, “Marital Indecision Cycle,” which describes the merry-go-round effects that most husbands and wives experience as they consider ending their marriage.
Because people tend to become more isolated when their marriage is in trouble, they don’t realize that much of what they experience is normal. They often question and judge themselves harshly during this time and this only makes the process harder.
Susan felt compelled to bridge the isolation gap and share her knowledge of the commonalities most people experience through her book, Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go.
Click the button below to place an order for Susan’s book.
Contemplating Divorce, The Book and Step by Step Guide
July 30, 2008
Just as there are right and wrong reasons to marry, there are good and bad reasons to divorce. Some couples are quick to split because they are unwilling to devote the necessary effort to fixing their relationships or to understanding their partners, while others miss out on personal fulfillment by staying too long in unhealthy marriages.
This insightful and practical guide, written by Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist, with nearly a decade of experience counseling those considering divorce, will help you evaluate your marriage to determine whether you should stay or go Without bias toward or against the option of divorce, Contemplating Divorce includes helpful tools to guide you to the right decision.
Free Offer
If you would like to review a sample chapter from the book, Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, please submit a request using our form at This Page.
Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, includes the following nine steps:
1. Beginning the Mental Journey
2. Knowing Your Options
3. Understanding Your Emotions
4. Learning About Your Relationship
5. Knowing What You Need
6. Finding Your Truth
7. Taking Action When Action is Needed
8. Understanding the Needs of Others
9. Making Peace with Your Decision
Each Chapter includes case studies and thought-provoking exercises to help you gain clarity and perspective on your particular situation.
“Receive a 15% discount on Contemplating Divorce when you use the link below!”
http://www.newharbinger.com/client/client_pages/aff_contemplating_divorce.cfm?DiscCode=CODI&repvendorid=1134
Ordering the Book