Divorce Can Have a Sweet Ending

February 14, 2013

What do you do when you find yourself a divorced single mom with no income?

You go out and look for a job, of course!

In 1982, that’s exactly what Bonnie Tempesta did. A native of the Bay Area, Tempesta was overwhelmed with fear and the responsibility of starting a new life after being married for ten years. Bonnie also had a healthy respect for the task of raising a little girl by herself and knew that she needed to do something to makes ends meet.

Having a passion for culinary arts, Bonnie’s instinct was to seek work in the food world. She landed a part-time job at a high-end chocolate shop in the Financial District of San Francisco, serving espresso coffee drinks.

After working there for a while, it occurred to Bonnie that the Italian cookies her aunt Isa from Prato, Italy, used to make would go perfectly with the coffee drinks she was serving.

She began making the twice-baked cookies out of her kitchen (biscotti in Italian means, “twice-baked”). These biscotti became so popular that soon Bonnie had a hard time keeping up with the demand. It was then that she decided to open a bakery (with the help of her late mother and brother) and make the biscotti on a much larger scale.

This was the dawn of the biscotti age in the United States. In fact, Bonnie is often called  “The Biscotti Queen” for being the first to introduce this Italian treat to America on a large commercial scale.

As if Bonnie’s plain biscotti weren’t enough of a hit here in the U.S., Bonnie decided to marry her cookie with some of the high quality chocolate from the shop she got her start in and a completely new version of biscotti was brought into the world!

In the years she owned La Tempesta Bakery, Bonnie experimented with other flavors as well - even having a peanut butter biscotti in honor of Fourth of July. Everything she baked was a success.

In addition to being a fabulous cook, Bonnie also has good business instincts. She was able to build an extremely successful biscotti company (La Tempesta), which by 1995, was seeing revenues of nearly $9 million. Bonnie eventually sold and went into semi-retirement to focus on raising her daughter.

Bonnie remarried in 1993 and would find herself in the divorce arena again more than sixteen years later.

She always had it in her mind to bake biscotti again some day and with her daughter grown and more time on her hands, Bonnie decided she would start a new company. She and a handful of friends began baking the cookies in her kitchen again and - just as before - her biscotti is selling like hotcakes!

The company name Bonnie came up with for her new venture is “Boncora,” which literally means “Bonnie Again,” and it is a combination of her name and the Italian word for again, “ancora.”

In the few short months since its inception (September 2012), Boncora Biscotti has been written about inNewsweek, The Washington Post, The L.A. Times, and the New York Times food review sections.

While the biscotti is still all made by hand, you won’t have to head to your favorite fine food store or fancy food show to find them. Boncora Biscotti are available on-line and you can get more information by visiting the site at: www.boncorabiscotti.com

As someone who sees people go through the frightening divorce experience every day, I love Bonnie’s story because she faced her fears, undertook something she was really good at and managed to develop a successful career out of it – not once, but twice!

Other women who have overcome hard times following divorce include California Congresswoman, Lynn Woolsey, who, with three small children in tow, had to go on welfare following her divorce, and J.K. Rowling (author of the Harry Potter series) who went from extreme poverty following her divorce to being ranked the twelfth richest woman in the United Kingdom by The Sunday Times Rich List in 2008.

It goes to show that the darkest transition in your life can turn into the sweetest, most creative and most powerful new beginning imaginable so make it a point to get through your divorce in one piece and after it’s over (and it will have an end) don’t be afraid to share your talents with the world.

No tags for this post.

Michael Pritchard Interviews Susan Pease Gadoua about couples contemplating divorce

May 8, 2011

Contemplating Divorce Interview with Michael Pritchard

Tags: , , , , ,

Resolve to Solve or Dissolve Your Marriage This Year

January 12, 2011

With the ushering in of a new year, it’s time to set goals for what you’d like to accomplish in the twelve months ahead.

Anyone who has had to grapple with the unfortunate choice of whether to stay in a troubled marriage or leave, knows that this is not an easy place to live from. And those who have been in this place of indecision for a while know that it becomes increasingly draining the longer you stay in this middle ground.

Yet, I have seen people remain undecided–unhappy in the marriage but unwilling or unable to create the change they need to improve or to get out of the marriage - for years.

They get caught in what I call the “Marital Indecision Cycle,” and anyone who has been in that place for over 24 months, needs to know that it’s probably not just another “rough patch” that every marriage experiences, and that it’s in your best interest to get out of the indecision.

Being in a place of nuptial neither here nor there causes stress and a reduction in productivity and presence. It is the equivalent of a ship sailing the ocean trying to stay afloat with a gaping hole in its hull. Additionally, anyone who has ever said or felt, “this indecision’s killing me,” should know this may be truer than you realize.

There is ample scientific research that points to the fact that chronic stress can cause a whole host of maladies–everything from suppression of the reproductive system to cancer, heart disease, hypertension, depression and insomnia.

While we all have stress in our lives to some degree whether we are married or single, have five kids or no kids, most of the stress we have is manageable, meaning low level and/or time limited.

Having problems (such as marital discord) that have no easy or apparent solution can push tension levels through the roof.

For most people, leaving a marriage is no small decision–and it shouldn’t be. Marriage is a serious commitment–especially if you have children.

But the longer you stay stuck, the more your health suffers, the more you role model an unhealthy relationship for your children, and the greater tolerance you develop for being unhappy and unfulfilled.

Make 2011 the year of change.

Here are three tips to help you gain clarity in your decision of whether to stay or go:

1. If your spouse is not working with you to get the marriage back to a good place, then there is nothing to work on. Nothing you do will be effective because it takes effort from both partners to create a workable, healthy marriage.

2. Do everything in your power to create the change your marriage needs (read self help books, seek out counsel from therapists, clergy and friends), attend self improvement programs alone and together to work on yourself as well as the relationship

3. Because you won’t get new mental and emotional information until you take different actions, try something you haven’t tried before - if you haven’t gone to couple’s therapy, seek out a therapist to work on your communication or conflict resolution skills; if you’ve never physically separated, try that for three to six months to see what that feels like. You will also get a new set of emotions when you recommit to your spouse, make the therapy appointment, move back into the bedroom or when you go out looking for apartments, talk to attorneys and download the paperwork you need to file for divorce.

Three books I recommend on this subject are:

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, Mira Kirshenbaum
How to Know When It’s Time to Go, Dr. Lawrence Birnbach and Dr. Beverly Hyman
And my first book, Contemplating Divorce, A Step-by-Step Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go, Susan Pease Gadoua

Tags: , ,

Feedback from You on Contemplating Divorce

September 18, 2009

So many of you are finding the book helpful and nothing makes me feel better. I appreciate your comments and thought I’d post some of them here so you can get a sense of how the book might help you too.

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen, Bowen Island, British Columbia, Canada

“an amazing book…”   September 18, 2009

“Contemplating Divorce – [is] an amazing book, and belongs on the shelf of even happily married couples! [Pease Gadoua] discusses how to rebuild marriages in practical ways.”

Douglas C. Lord - Library Journal

“This is an excellent resource with a consistently respectful tone…”   September 8, 2009

Even the best divorces are upheavals, messing up finances, routines, and emotions; this supportive primer totally aces helping readers clarify whether to go through with it. Social worker Gadoua notes the steps in the process of deciding, which range from passively considering to actively leaving. Instructive real-life examples show the dynamics of deteriorating marriages with both happy and unhappy endings. Gadoua also explains the difference between staying in a bad marriage out of fear vs. confidently leaving it with expectations of future happiness. Chapters encourage readers to optimize their attitudes and approaches in order to “best influence” their partners and themselves, and workbooklike sections raise issues to ponder. Clear advice seems elementary but not simplistic, e.g., “you can always choose how to interpret the events in your life. Your feelings about an event are one thing; how you interpret them is quite another.” This is an excellent resource with a consistently respectful tone; coupled with a guide like Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce, it will make readers feel better equipped to handle a tough decision. Highly recommended for all public libraries and family support collections.

***** 5 stars

A must read for anyone who wants to work on their marriage. June 3, 2009

By JST (CA United States)

This book is fantastic, and was instrumental in parting the clouds for me during one of the most difficult times of my life - determining whether my marriage was salvagable or not. The exercises in this book are very helpful in assessing the work that needs to be done on a marriage, and in determining whether that work can be done by the two of you or not. I highly recommend this book whether you are contemplating divorce or not - in my case, I was contemplating it, and some of the exercises in this book made it crystal clear to me which path was the right one for me. I can’t begin to express how thankful I am to have run across this book, and highly recommend it to anyone facing even the smallest difficulties in their marriage - it can help you see how to approach fixing things if you choose to, or deciding that it is time to end things if you choose to.

***** 5 stars
Extremely insightful; great questions & workbook exercises
, November 4, 2008
By Yvonne Gittelson “Dog Wrangler” (Goshen, MA United States) -

I bought this book for a friend, and ended up previewing it myself to make sure it was worth passing on; it definitely is. Having gone through a split 5 years ago (not of my choosing, but ultimately of my relief), I was able to look at this book through the lens of hindsight. I think it is an excellent guide, and I’ve recommended it to a therapist friend of mine, and she agrees. The most important aspect of the book is that there is no right or wrong answer for any/every reader, of course. Every relationship is different, and anyone reading this book will have the opportunity to consider the thought-provoking questions at the end of each chapter to see if the marriage can be saved, or if too much damage has been done. Especially if the question of therapy or counseling is currently not an option for you, this book provides a most excellent and inexpensive substitute first step in the process of considering what to do next. Highly recommended.

***** 5 stars
Excellent reading for making life changing decision
, August 1, 2008
By Birder123 “nancy” (Tampa, FL, USA) -

Contemplating Divorce is an excellent read for those looking to make the life changing decision to divorce. It has a break down of all the steps needed to make the decision and guides the reader with how to approach every step. This book is very well written and the real stories cover a wide range of marital situations. Personally, I can’t wait for Ms. Pease Gadoua’s next book!!
Nancy Thomas
Tampa, FL

*****5 stars
OUTSTANDING book, November 23, 2008
By Dorie Rosenberg (San Rafael, CA USA) -

This book offers the reader a wealth of information about the difficult, limbo space between an unhappy marriage and making the decision to stay or leave. I especially appreciated Susan’s applications of the theories of phases of contemplation and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to help the reader gain clarity about his or her own process. The exercises are helpful and worthwhile to do. This is a very practical volume that gave me much to reflect on. I recommend it highly for both therapists and the general public.
Dorie Rosenberg, L.M.F.T.
San Rafael, CA.

***** Great book!
By K. Morrison -

This is an important and illuminating book if you REALLY want clarity around one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make! It’s well-written and informative and will definitely help those who are struggling with whether to stay or go.

***** 5 stars
Marriage & Family Therapist review
, November 22, 2008
By Mary Beth McClure

After reading many books on the subject, I found the material in ‘Contemplating Divorce’ to be thought-provoking and original, particularly about the cyclic nature of denial and grief. The author outlines clear stages of the process and direction on the most difficult decision: how to know when to keep trying at a marriage and when to let go. Although “Divorce” is in the title, the book has a wealth of wise counsel on doing what’s possible to mend a relationship and an expanded definition of ‘failure’ and ’success.’ I recommended this book and the writing exercises at the end of each chapter to many clients. The author has a refreshingly balanced perspective that provides readers with a clear light.

No tags for this post.

Such as are in the institution (of marriage) wish to get out… Excerpt from a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson

May 10, 2009

We are experiencing very tough financial times and, while the actual divorce rates are down, the quality of marriage is suffering tremendously. Many people can’t afford to divorce right now, but I predict that when the stock and real estate markets start to recover, we will see a spike in divorce rates.

I say this because, along with articles I have read in the past eight months about divorce rates declining, I myself have been hit with a deluge of calls from those who are unhappily married and just waiting out the economy to bring divorce proceedings. What’s worse is that many of these people might otherwise go to counseling but they can’t afford it! I’m afraid that too much damage will have been done.

Of course, a down economy is not usually enough by itself to cause a marital relationship to sour. There are often other factors that come into play such as too much drug and alcohol use, poor or non-existent communication between spouses, other stressors such as having children, a mortgage or rent that is too high, a loved one being ill or dying, depression or mental illness, or living with pain,  to name a few.

My advice to anyone in this type of situation is to get support! This doesn’t have to cost money - it can come in the way of reaching out to friends and telling them what is really going on, going to church/temple, 12-step programs, as well as visiting local community mental health agencies that often have sliding scale fees available.

When tough financial times hit, it can be tempting to put mental health on a back burner but I assure you that taking care of your “insides” will go a long way in making you feel better, giving you a different perspective on your situation and potentially even helping turn things around for you and your spouse.

A tip for searching for these services on the internet:

Google the name of the county or town in which you live, then “low fee counseling.” You are likely to find a local, state or county run organization that provides such services. If none is listed, contact the agencies that come up directly and ask them where they might suggest (since they are likely to know of more resources). 

Finally, if you have insurance, don’t forget to contact them to take full advantage of coverage they may offer you.

If you need further help in finding appropriate mental health support, feel free to contact us and we will do what we can to assist you in getting the right resources.

Tags: , , , ,

Next Page »

  • film downloaden afspelen op tv
  • blackberry hyves app downloaden
  • youtube muziek downloaden ipod
  • nieuwe skype downloaden mac
  • jingles downloaden kostenlos
  • wordfeud downloaden for android
  • 9335358132
  • 3ds games downloaden en spelen
  • mp3 downloaden ubuntu
  • rummikub gratis downloaden windows 7
  • battlefield downloaden free
  • windows movie maker downloaden free
  • software downloaden ipad
  • internet explorer downloaden kostenlos
  • call of duty 2 downloaden vollversion kostenlos
  • antivir kostenlos downloaden vollversion windows vista
  • fujitsu drivers downloaden
  • bilder downloaden jappy
  • legaal muziek downloaden programma
  • heftruck simulator demo downloaden
  • hardlopen mp3 gratis downloaden
  • jailbreak cydia downloaden ipod touch
  • video downloaden safari mac
  • directx 9 3d downloaden
  • tv kostenlos downloaden deutsch
  • msn 9.5 plus downloaden
  • nds downloaden spellen
  • programm zum musik downloaden gratis
  • sony vegas 8.0 downloaden
  • publisher 2003 downloaden nederlands
  • antivir 9 kostenlos downloaden chip
  • fifa street gratis downloaden
  • thema downloaden blackberry 8520
  • minecraft pokemon downloaden
  • tomtom downloaden voor android
  • itunes downloaden werkt niet
  • powerpoint kostenlos downloaden windows 7
  • codec windows 7 downloaden
  • pc games downloaden kostenlos
  • mindmap gratis downloaden nederlands
  • podcast downloaden voor ipod
  • word lettertypes downloaden
  • assassins creed kostenlos downloaden vollversion deutsch
  • factuur voorbeeld excel downloaden
  • powerdvd 11 kostenlos downloaden
  • nieuwste msn gratis downloaden 9.5
  • installous für iphone downloaden
  • avg 2011 download free
  • msn live 8.5 downloaden nederlands
  • ndr 2 videos downloaden
  • bones seizoen 6 downloaden
  • betrouwbaar ringtones downloaden
  • spellen downloaden nintendo 3ds
  • firmware downloaden nds
  • windows live 9.0 downloaden
  • winrar 64 bit downloaden free
  • liedjes downloaden via youtube gratis
  • op ipod downloaden
  • apple quicktime download
  • mxeil2 firmware downloaden
  • logic pro kostenlos downloaden
  • bluetooth treiber kostenlos downloaden
  • sims 2 illegaal downloaden
  • dj programm zum downloaden
  • teamviewer kostenlos downloaden vollversion
  • running coach evy downloaden
  • tram spelletjes gratis downloaden
  • musik legal downloaden kostenlos mp3
  • xiii kostenlos downloaden vollversion pc
  • fifa 11 downloaden xbox 360
  • 3090778662
  • halo map editor downloaden
  • pokemon games zum downloaden
  • tomtom deutsche sprache downloaden
  • win xp zum downloaden
  • samsung wave 3 whatsapp downloaden
  • gratis downloaden karaoke muziek
  • podcast downloaden samsung
  • charts 2012 downloaden
  • limewire gratis downloaden windows vista
  • tweetdeck downloaden yellow
  • films top 100 downloaden
  • hyves desktop downloaden blackberry
  • ie9 kan niet downloaden
  • urban terror maps downloads
  • gothic 2 mods kostenlos downloaden
  • musik für iphone downloaden kostenlos
  • rollercoaster nds downloaden
  • ps3 spiele updates downloaden
  • fifa 11 illegaal downloaden
  • ali-b muziek downloaden gratis
  • icq deutsch downloaden
  • downloaden glee
  • grabit downloaden nederlands
  • new kids downloaden gratis
  • avast 6 kostenlos downloaden
  • safari downloaden voor windows
  • 7679003968
  • fifa online 2 downloaden
  • gratis just dance 3 downloaden
  • avatar 3d kostenlos downloaden
  • norman security suite downloaden
  • gratis downloaden frostwire nederlands
  • the sims 1 download free full version
  • wo ios 4.3 downloaden
  • wii firmware 4.3 downloaden
  • outlook express downloaden nederlands windows 7
  • live messenger downloaden for mac
  • open office downloaden voor mac
  • muziek downloaden via emule
  • digimon frontier downloaden
  • waar dvd covers downloaden
  • mp3 downloaden op telefoon
  • samsung kies downloaden chat
  • apple os downloaden
  • sims 3 beestenbende downloaden gratis mac
  • photoshop gratis downloaden forum
  • nokia pc suite downloaden nederlands
  • downloaden nintendo dsi xl spellen
  • windows live hotmail downloaden gratis
  • full tilt poker downloaden gratis
  • mozilla firefox downloaden 5
  • pokemon black downloaden pc
  • muziek downloaden frostwire
  • spiele downloaden chip online
  • youtube liedjes downloaden mp3
  • regels downloaden nederland
  • last chaos p server downloaden
  • sims downloaden op pc gratis
  • song downloaden von youtube
  • fifa 12 zum downloaden kostenlos
  • een link downloaden
  • msn kostenlos downloaden xp
  • spelen downloaden psp
  • kapla boek downloaden
  • word publisher downloaden free
  • steam spiel erneut downloaden
  • thema's downloaden samsung star 2
  • android market downloaden lukt niet
  • gimp 1 downloaden
  • hoe downloaden rtl gemist
  • straaljager game downloaden
  • skype version downloaden
  • youtube downloaden en opslaan
  • ballerburg 2 kostenlos downloaden
  • ing downloaden afschriften
  • n-ball gratis downloaden
  • kostenlos photoshop downloaden deutsch
  • adobe photoshop elements downloaden
  • downloads cydia
  • skype downloaden op laptop
  • gratis sims 3 downloaden zonder cd
  • harry potter 6 zum downloaden
  • von youtube downloaden divx
  • diablo 3 demo downloaden
  • uitzending gemist downloaden mac 2012
  • adobe reader download windows 7
  • pdf adobe reader downloaden gratis
  • hotfix downloaden windows 7
  • die siedler 7 downloaden kostenlos
  • downloaden van outlook express
  • windows xp drivers downloaden
  • bridge spelen downloaden
  • downloaden nds
  • msn downloaden macbook air
  • apple software 4.3.3 downloaden
  • rollercoaster tycoon downloaden voor mac
  • dj software downloaden gratis
  • kostenlos sims 3 spiele downloaden
  • like a g6 downloaden gratis
  • blackberry app world downloaden voor blackberry
  • whatsapp downloaden vodafone 555 blue
  • tomtom stemmen downloaden
  • gratis downloaden antivirus programma
  • java downloaden voor google chrome
  • downloaden google earth free
  • digimon download
  • tomtom one duitsland downloaden
  • gratis ringtones downloaden blackberry
  • gratis chuzzle deluxe downloaden
  • microsoft powerpoint zum downloaden kostenlos
  • apps downloaden nokia e72
  • gratis internet browser downloaden
  • whatsapp downloaden ipad 1
  • sketchup 7.1 downloaden gratis
  • musik kostenlos downloaden 4
  • flight simulator kostenlos downloaden vollversion
  • effekte für photoscape downloaden
  • kostenlos downloaden word 2007
  • playstation 1 spiele downloaden
  • winrar 3.90 kostenlos downloaden
  • metin2 cheats kostenlos downloaden
  • downloaden vooraf ingevulde aangifte 2010
  • app world downloaden zonder paypal
  • foto resizer gratis downloaden
  • video downloaden wdr
  • internetseite zum downloaden von youtube
  • 273432739
  • bukkit server download
  • musik downloaden samsung galaxy s2
  • schneller filme downloaden
  • spelletjes downloaden ipad
  • ken park download
  • photoshop elements 7.0 downloaden
  • worms armageddon kostenlos downloaden vollversion
  • iphone firmware 4.3.3 downloaden
  • problemen met downloaden aangifte 2011
  • android downloaden mislukt
  • msn 9.0 downloaden mac
  • gratis sims 3 spelen downloaden
  • cloister black downloaden
  • worms 3 kostenlos downloaden
  • films downloaden op iphone 4
  • downloaden nieuwste versie itunes
  • app download htc wildfire
  • metin2 p server downloaden deutsch
  • dayz patch downloaden
  • iphone 4.3.3 software downloaden
  • software podcast downloaden
  • hospital tycoon downloaden
  • pacman deluxe downloaden
  • filme downloaden frei
  • music downloaden from youtube
  • apps downloaden android
  • video downloaden van youtube online
  • outlook bilder downloaden proxy
  • 9380372851
  • gratis sims 3 downloaden blackberry
  • windows xp downloaden software
  • photoscape kostenlos downloaden 3.5 deutsch
  • 4story kostenlos downloaden chip
  • hamachi downloaden kostenlos
  • legal downloaden von youtube
  • hoe whatsapp downloaden android
  • youtube op blackberry downloaden
  • limewire lite gratis downloaden
  • nintendo wii downloaden
  • spiele vollversion downloaden gratis
  • picasa 4 kostenlos downloaden deutsch chip
  • msn downloaden 2009 gratis nederlands
  • video website downloaden mac
  • gratis spellen downloaden xbox 360
  • kostenlos guild wars downloaden
  • super mario world downloaden kostenlos
  • minecraft downloaden single player
  • hoe een filmpje downloaden van youtube
  • skat kostenlos downloaden win7
  • jailbreak spiele downloaden
  • james bond demo downloaden
  • word downloaden free
  • 1134119047
  • downloaden twilight breaking dawn
  • windows editor download
  • google downloaden 2012
  • crysis gamedata.pak downloaden
  • nieuwste versie vlc downloaden
  • doodle jump deluxe downloaden für handy
  • muziek downloaden you
  • mp3 downloaden hoe
  • photoshop gratis downloaden windows xp
  • i am sam downloaden
  • kaufen und downloaden spiele
  • briefpapier downloaden gratis sinterklaas
  • safari kostenlos downloaden windows 7
  • spotify downloaden betalen
  • spotnet downloaden met newsleecher
  • 7044140849
  • mario spiele kostenlos downloaden nintendo ds
  • podcast downloaden voor android
  • geluiden email downloaden
  • qr code downloaden voor blackberry
  • photoshop downloaden kostenlos deutsch
  • wordfeud downloaden pc gratis
  • photoshop freeware downloaden
  • picasa heel album downloaden
  • downloaden service pack 2 windows xp
  • trailer musik zum downloaden
  • youtube channel design downloaden
  • whatsapp op computer downloaden gratis
  • skype downloaden op je blackberry
  • gratis antivirus download 2012
  • internet explorer 9 downloaden vista
  • adblock plus chrome download
  • top 40 downloaden op ipod
  • video stream downloaden firefox
  • downloaden internet explorer
  • kostenlos gta 5 downloaden
  • winrar 32 bits downloaden